Part 1
When it comes to topics related to the human psyche or the imbalance within it, a great deal of mindfulness and respect is required. Respect for what? For example, respect for a person's sovereignty; by which I particularly mean that people each live in their own world. And this means that outsiders can indeed interpret the constitution of the other person based on their own parameters. but ... how far does that truly get you? Parents are no exception.
Parents consistently wish for children who are healthy and bring them joy. Of course, parents are also willing to support their children through difficult times... but even parents and their willingness to support their children cannot be generalized. What do you do with your child when they are no longer able to cope with everyday life? How should parents react when children can no longer meet the demands of society in terms of social compatibility, smooth schooling, unobtrusive general social behavior, even within the family ... can no longer meet them?
In this context, I want to address those people who are referred to as Hikikomori in Japan. In Japanese society, people who withdraw from society and also from their families are referred to as Hikikomori. They do this out of their inner needs. It's not about Hikikomori not wanting to go to school or work, or simply letting themselves be supported by their family without doing anything to earn their keep. Hikikomori withdraw because they need to retreat into themselves on a psychological level. Consistently, they need their protected space where they are only with themselves; to set themselves apart.
This not only poses a challenge for them as individuals affected. Even the parents - or partners - are confronted. How should one deal with it when the child or partner is increasingly withdrawing and avoiding any social interaction ... yes, has to avoid it due to their own inner state? And ... how long can an outsider live alongside someone else like that? Japan has a pretty straight-laced society. It's very much about conventions and conformity on many levels of existence as a human being; and likewise as a member of Japanese society. A lot of emphasis is placed on not stepping out of line. Yes, you also have to perform. School - training - studies - work. All of this must and should work like clockwork. Gaps in the resume or years of time off don't look good there. Within families, there are strong hierarchies. Children must function. When you have the choice between developing and living out your individuality, or fitting into the system - not causing trouble for your parents - and meeting society's demands in all areas, then "fitting seamlessly into society" comes first.
And so, for those people in Japan who are referred to as Hikikomori, it is doubly difficult to meet their inner needs; and to set themselves apart by completely withdrawing. And most parents and partners then truly find themselves between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, there is the situation at home with a person you don't fully understand, for whom you have to care, who also distances themselves from you. And on the other hand, there is that straightforward Japanese society where one doesn't want to stand out. In which one also doesn't want to burden anyone with their own worries. That is a tightrope walk for everyone involved.
When I first read about Hikikomori a long time ago, it wasn't unfamiliar to me. But the fact that it is not foreign to me does not actually help a third party. And if you enter the term Hikikomori on the web, you will be presented with some definitions. People who behave in such a way that they withdraw from both society and its demands, as well as from their family or partners within their own four walls, do so because they can no longer do otherwise. They are in a mode where they have to be alone with themselves. The only thing outsiders can do is accompany them and offer them a protected space in which they can go through their process.
Among other things, I read about individuals who described their emotional and physical states. There are people who say that they felt their energy—or energy itself—moving through their body, and they couldn't control it. These symptoms (for example) are significant for a soul that is in the process of awakening. This is not an illness ... on the contrary. But it is a demanding process that can take years. It is a process through which a human being goes through various phases of healing. This can be very demanding on all levels, such as physical, soul, and spirit. And if doctors or therapists are not familiar with the symptoms because they are unknown to them - which is usually the case - and then misdiagnose it, the affected person often ends up in psychiatry. Right there, where such individuals going through the process of awakening absolutely do not belong. It is a deep topic. I personally perceive it as those people who are referred to as Hikikomori because they exhibit the corresponding behavior are going through deep psychological processes. That doesn't make it any easier.
I personally feel, however, that one must ensure that the withdrawal does not solidify forever. In the process of deep emotional processes that make such a withdrawal unavoidable for the affected individuals, it matters that they either feel what is going on themselves and, surrendering to their process, move through it with trust. Or, they have a therapist/healer/psychologist by their side who is familiar with this type of deep emotional process and can accompany them attentively.
At this point, I am introducing a second part to this topic because otherwise, the article would be too long.
Author/Copyright: NEA (Meisterin चन्द्र Nung Pha🌈)
Datum/Data: 19.09.2026
Stock photo: webador
A E - IV
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